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Friday Favorites – Antique Store Obsessions

Friday Favorites – Antique Store Obsessions – I have a problem. I can’t resist my favorite antique stores, some thrift stores, and flea markets.e

The thing about days off in North Carolina is that I usually find my way to an antique or thrift store or two (with my mom). I bought the little cookbook & the swan dish (for my jewelry) today.

I didn’t pick this up because the green/gold isn’t something I’m looking for right now, but had it been a smidge cheaper I might have, in order to resell it. I mentioned recently that I love all things entertaining and had this been a different style, I would have considered it for myself.

We also made our way out to Riverside Barn Antique in Wallace, North Carolina. Riverside Barn will always be a favorite for me. I bought my beloved Mid-Century Modern Stereo console from them. The stereo is beautiful and it’s my favorite piece of furniture. The stereo/record player works. I’m not using it right now because the needle needs replacing, but it’s in incredible condition and I can’t believe what I paid. The story will always be a favorite because I narrowly missed out on this opportunity.

This was the exact day in 2021-ish (or early 2022), when I found at Riverside Barn Antiques. I asked the owners – who are so sweet – about it. They said it was sold ($120-150-ish if I remember correctly). But they took my number in case the guy didn’t come back. He hadn’t paid though. They were just saving it for him. A few days later, they called me. The owner told me felt terrible for not letting me buy it & he just knew I should have it.

I asked my XO if I could leave work early to go get it. I took a few hours of leave and off I went. “It’s a beaut, Clark.” :)

This store will always be a favorite for calling me that day, so I could bring the stereo home.

Chances are, if I pick up anything at a thrift store, antique store, or flea market – it’s going to have an entertaining theme (or maybe a smidge of decorating). I’d count today as a success (spent about $16 bucks).

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The Perfect Host

When I was a little girl, I spent about as much time dreaming up my life being a hostess (I kid you not) as I did about being a mom, writing books, being filthy rich (this one cracks me up) and generally having the best life ever. If I told you how much time I thought and dreamt of these things, you’d think I was a weird kid. Okay, I was definitely a weird kid.

I don’t think of myself as a very traditional person in many ways. But I do feel fairly traditional when it comes to etiquette, hospitality, and and creating a warm and welcoming environment. For those who are new here, you may not know that I have a love for many things “Mid-Century.” My love of this time includes glassware/barware, some furniture, some decor, clothing (that I can’t wear), jewelry, and most of all . . . the love of entertaining.

Side note: Mid-Century is an all encompassing term that people tend to use incorrectly. Most of the time, they say “Mid-Century Modern (MCM)” for all things Mid Century. I happen to love MCM furniture and architecture. But there are many things that fall under the overall umbrella of Mid-Century. Some are modern, some are not. As an extra side note, there is much about that time in American history that I find deeply offensive. There are things I love.

There are some styles I don’t care for – such as “Mid-Century Regency.” It’s also known as Hollywood Regency and it’s generally…too much. Mid-Century Colonial is also a bit much, but I happen to own two furniture pieces from that time, just the same (both originally owned by my grandparents). But I digress. One thing I wish the U.S. still had was its dedication to gathering, entertaining, and hospitality. We do this now. But sometimes it seems “community” is harder to come by and we certainly don’t go to the lengths my grandparent’s generation did. They hosted family and friends and when doing so, went to a great deal of effort.

They planned menus and thought about seating and prepared special food and drinks. My grandparents had game nights with their friends (that the kids weren’t invited to participate in). I don’t know if they played other games, but I know pinochle was one favorite. They got dressed up. It was a whole thing. My mom said that if they went to someone else’s home, my grandparents got even more dressed up and my mom and aunt would go in their PJs (so grandpa could carry them straight to bed when they got home).

You can find this snack plate, here!

In thrift and antique stores (just about anywhere) you can see signs of the effort this generation went to, when entertaining. I buy pieces every so often. One of my favorites from that era are “snack plates.” If you’re a wine person, you’re likely accustomed to a more modern example of these (but for wine glasses and snacks) if you attend wine events. But from the Mid-Century era, they’re much prettier than what we might find at a wine festival for instance. I adore them. :) Some are crystal and very dainty – and others are wood or plastic. Another favorite are the serving dishes for appetizers, snacks, relishes, etc.

You can find this, here!

What’s the point, you ask? While I may be listing some of my things for sale on Etsy, soon, I’ve got a nice little collection of these things and think often about how I will use them in my future business. :) I also spend a lot of time thinking about how little I share the things that inspire me (but make me uniquely me). They are things I love and though they seem frivolous, in some ways, I’m passionate about them too. Being a host – or opening your life, home, or even your office (I had lots of experience with this on my last job) to others, is an opportunity to gift the people you care about or run across – a moment of rest, peace, good food, and a little break from the rough and tough that surrounds us every day. We move at a pace here in the U.S. that is not sustainable. Slowing down and offering a moment of something lovely and welcoming, is such a gift. It’s one of the reasons I hope to someday have an event venue/bed and breakfast of my own. I’ve spent years dreaming of it.

I recently finished “The “Little Book of Hygge” by Meik Wiking. I enjoyed it, as I expected I would. There were some great reminders throughout the book about the kind of life I want to live. I am working toward a more hygge lifestyle. And while a hygge life doesn’t require a bunch of things, I did finish the book convinced that careful curation of things can be hygge. But along with that, there was a great deal about a slower more satisfying pace and making time for the people and things you love most.

I hope to take the time to share more of that here, which is the point of this whole post. In my tiny 865 sq ft apartment, much of my small collection of glassware and entertaining pieces are packed in storage 5 hours away. But I’d like to share when I can, just the same. There is an element to entertaining or hospitality, that certainly feels very trivial in a broken and messed up world. I am extremely passionate about injustice in the world and there are times that feels weird compared to this urge I feel to make things beautiful or to make people feel at home.

But that’s why it’s so desperately needed. Our bodies and souls need a place of peace and rest. And it would help if we could start with making our tables longer.

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This Is Me Trying

“I’ve been having a hard time adjusting
I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting
I didn’t know if you’d care if I came back
I have a lot of regrets about that
Pulled the car off the road to the lookout
Could’ve followed my fears all the way down
And maybe I don’t quite know what to say
But I’m here in your doorway

I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying

They told me all of my cages were mental
So I got wasted like all my potential
And my words shoot to kill when I’m mad
I have a lot of regrets about that”
Song by: Jack Antonoff & Taylor Swift

Today’s Surprise songs at the Eras tour, included the mashup (I didn’t know I needed) of “This is Me Trying” and “Labyrinth.”

“This is me trying…” with what little left I have to try with.

“It only feels this raw right now
Lost in the labyrinth of my mind
Break up, break free, break through, break down
You would break your back to make me break a smile
You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back
Just like that

Uh oh, I’m falling in love
Oh no, I’m falling in love again
Oh, I’m falling in love
I thought the plane was going down
How’d you turn it right around”
Song by: Taylor Swift and Jack Antonoff

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You Mean Well But Aim Low

This video (premiered today) just makes me love Gracie even more. I feel like I wrote this song.

My favorite lines from this change every time I listen to the album. But here’s the favs today:

“you mean well but aim low
And I’ll make it known like I’m getting paid”

“(You were the best but you were the worst)
(As sick as it sounds, I loved you first)
I wanna speak in code
(I was a dick, it is what it is)
(A habit to kick, the age-old curse)
Hope that I don’t, won’t make it about me
(I tend to laugh whenever I’m sad)
(I stare at the crash, it actually works)
I love you, I’m sorry”
– Lyrics by Gracie Abrams & Aaron Dessner

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What if you give me one minute?

“Watch this be the wrong thing
Classic
God, I’m jumping in the deep end
It’s more fun to swim in
Heard the risk is drownin’, but I’m gonna take it
I’m gonna take it”
Songwriters: Audrey Hobert & Gracie Abrams

What if you give me one minute? And then all the rest of them?

If I told you how much I think about you, would you believe me? If I told you I need to feel my hand in yours, for just a minute – just give me one minute, would you give it to me?

Never mind.

One minute wouldn’t be enough.

Don’t give me one minute – unless I can have as many as possible.

I’d just ask for more and more of you. I’d ask for your quiet moments, your joys, your storms, and everything in between. I’d ask for the mundane, the chores, the highest highs and the passion. I’d return the favor. I’m at my absolute worst right now. If you stay, even then, I’d never stop reaching for you. I’ve seen you petulant. I’m still reaching for you.

If I handled you like I wanted to, we’d be caught in love and in bedsheets, and every moment of the weirdness and beauty of life. What if life was fair and I always got what I wanted? I’d have you. You’d be here – next to me. We’d be recovering from the day, together – as the night settles in around us. Would I ever grow complacent with feeling the rise and fall of your chest, if you were next to me? My guess is no. I’m certain I’d never forget how it feels to turn around and catch you watching me. I’d fight to keep us there, even when reality sets in, and it’s easier to choose separate corners and bruised egos.

You are laced through the lines of my poems – in the inspiration that stirs. When you read my words, you see us as clearly as I do, don’t you? What if I handled you like I wanted to? What if we moved in tandem everywhere? What if you give me one minute? And then all the rest of them?

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Hygge Lifestyle

📷: Photo by Alena Zadorozhnaya

Hygge is my favorite concept. I am working at a more hygge lifestyle. If you haven’t heard of it, the basics are:

*It’s a Danish idea and word. It’s tough to say. It is pronounced as “hooga”.
*Hygge is a cozy quality that makes a person feel content and comfortable.
*From the Danes themselves, they define hygge as being “about taking time away from the daily rush to be together with people you care about – or even by yourself – to relax and enjoy life’s quieter pleasures.”

There could be many ways to define hygge for you. While there does tend to be some concepts that seem to be shared with those of us who are working toward a more hygge lifestyle, it can also be a very personal idea. There are those who might feel as though spooky Halloween movies are hygge. There are others who might find that is not hygge in the least. What is comforting, relaxing, and helps you “enjoy life’s quieter pleasures” may not be the same for someone else.

I am working at cultivating a more hygge lifestyle. Some of the ways I am working on that include:

  1. Decorating with softer light and adding “fairy lights” or white string lights, that are used throughout the year (not just during the holiday season).
  2. When searching for something to watch or listen to, more often than not, I’m gravitating toward television shows, podcasts, movies, etc., that create that feeling (or remind me of it). An example of a super hygge movie for me is You’ve Got Mail. When I need a break from the world, I am re-watching Newhart on Amazon Prime.
  3. Fresh flowers, plants, and thoughtful displays of beautiful things (beautiful to me) in my home. This one is interesting because Danish homes may have a more minimalistic aesthetic. I am not minimalistic in the least. But I still think what I love to have around me is hygge.
  4. Working at remembering the delight and joy around me.
  5. Letting lovely *art like this one, below . . . inspire me and remind me of the kind of lovely environment I want to be in and around.

This is a short list and not definitive. But I wanted to share a few examples as I work toward resetting my clock – back to a time in my life where living a hygge lifestyle was my life more than it wasn’t.

Have you heard of hygge and if so, what are some ways you try to practice a hygge lifestyle?

*I don’t know who created this art. I’ve done a reverse image search and can’t seem to find the origin. I originally found it, here. More than happy to give credit to the artist if I find them.

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Caught in a Current

Photo by Vidi Drone on Unsplash

I can’t explain the pull – the way I’m drawn to you. I have tried to steer around this without success. There was a moment, feels like ages ago now, when you looked at me with so much feeling, fear instantly struck my heart. I was instantly caught in a current – pulled very quickly from the shore. I am not doing this again, I thought. I put my foot down. I succeeded for a time. But I’ve been back to square one for too long now. I don’t have the energy. The current is pulling me under.

This is an exercise in futility. I’m caught in a current that will only lead me to the worst possible outcome.

I am still swimming against the current.

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Collapse Into Me

Say it. Do it. I have never needed you more.
Collapse into me – right here.
I’ve got it. I’ve got you.
Yes, I will lay here with you.
Stay in bed with me this morning.
I’m not ready for you to leave.
Take me by the hand & lead me anywhere. I’ll follow you.
Take my wrist in your hand & kiss it before you pull me into your arms.
Tell me, tell me all the words I need to hear.
©Elaina M. Avalos

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Just Wondering

I was just wondering . . .

Were you jealous? Did the way he smiled at me make you wonder? Were you uncomfortable with how close I stood to him? Did your mind race? Did it matter that when I stopped talking to him, that the first thing I did was to search for you?

We move in perfect tandem. Have you noticed? Did you know it feels like home? I was just wondering.

When I walked away from him, did you explore my face and eyes for a sign that you’re the one? Does it matter that you are? I was just wondering. Did it matter that I explained? Did it matter that I didn’t want to explain – but did. I owe you nothing. Does that matter to you?

Have you asked yourself how we got here? Did you wonder why you were jealous? You were, weren’t you? Were you uncomfortable that I was with him and not you? I was just wondering.

Do you feel flattered? Will it matter? Will it matter to you that I go home alone? Does that matter to you? I was just wondering.

Each day turns – it’s the same thing over and over – I go on alone. I could solve this matter quickly and easily. I have the upper hand. But the ball will not be be in my court, until the moment you stand on my doorstep.

Do you know why? I was just wondering. Do you know how happy we will be? You feel it all of the time. I know you do. Do you know how happy our song will be? I was just wondering.

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The Tortured Poets Department – an Interpretation by a Tortured Novelist

TTPD, The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift, Elaina Avalos
Photo by Elaina M. Avalos

I’ve recently discovered that some of my writing – to include this post (which I’ve now removed) have been plagiarized by others and at least one “Swift-tok” content creator. I’m super disappointed in this, but not exactly surprised. As a result, I’m removing much of my original content from my website, in terms of analysis and/or my creative writing until/unless content creators can give credit to those who inspire or contribute to their content.

As an English major, there were often times when a line in someone else’s analysis of a novel or poem inspired a research paper or my own analysis. But that credit was given. A group of my favorite SwiftTok creators will usually credit each other for ideas they may expound upon in their own videos. The last video I saw from this person she absolutely has not credited anyone for her ideas and used some of my content, word for word. Homey don’t play that.

So…if you come back for more or you saw a snippet of this and thought you’d use it . . . this is my message to you – credit writers, artists or other content creators if you use their work. If you’re here from an image search, I’m sorry I don’t have more to share. But I won’t have my words stolen because someone is trying to make cash on TT, from posting content and they don’t have their own original thoughts about such content.

You should be more careful about plagiarism because you may be copying one of your followers.

Finally, it’s very anti-Swiftian, to do something like this. As they say in my professional circles, “Go pound sand.

From The Black Dog Variant (CD) of TTPD…

the black dog variant, the black dog, taylor swift, the tortured poets department, TTPD, elaina avalos
Photo by Elaina M. Avalos. The use of the word “artifacts” is another tie to It Hits Different/Midnights.

the manuscript variant, the manuscript taylor swift, ttpd, the tortured poets department, elaina avalos
Photo by Elaina M. Avalos

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Letting Go

From her first six months of life, to her last day – Abby was always the inquisitive (busy body) girl I met at the Morongo Basin Humane Society in April 2011. I often called her a busy body when she’d have to stop what she was doing to investigate what everyone else had going on around her. :)

Abby passed away in our home – peacefully, without pain or anxiety on Saturday morning – August 26th. She was the best sidekick this girl could ask for. Coming home from work tonight absolutely sucked without her jumping off the couch (or my bed) to greet me. I’m grateful for every moment of the last 12 years.

I left a memorial for her, here: https://www.lapoflove.com/pet-memorial/26467.

Letting go is so very hard.

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Stay Close to People Who Feel Like Sunshine

stay close to people who feel like sunshine, elaina avalos

It’s been gloomy here on the coast of the Carolinas. I can endure cold, bad weather, and I don’t hate snow or ice. But when it’s dark and you can’t see the sun for days on end, I get a little cranky and uncomfortable. Today, after multiple days of fog, rain, and misty spitting rain (consistently ruining my new haircut) – the sun finally visited. Tonight, it will be 22 and breezy. Tomorrow it will be around 43 & windy – chilly for the coast, for sure. But the sun will be shining and that’s all I care about at this point.

I grew up in Southern California where I’ve jokingly said all of my adult life that we don’t have “weather.” I mean, they don’t really. It’s sunny most of the time and rain is infrequent (except for lately). I love that I now get to live in a place with real weather. But none of this is really the point of my post.

Stay close to people who feel like sunshine.

Have you heard the quote – stay close to people who feel like sunshine? I was thinking about it today as the sun finally made its appearance through the clouds. The joy that fills my heart when I’m around people like this is . . . unmatched. I just want more and more of it. I can’t get enough of it. I can’t get enough of them. This is what it’s like when you find your match – in friendship or in love. They’re like a ray of sunshine that warms you from the inside out – even when it’s cold outside. Even when life is hard and weird and nothing makes sense and you can’t imagine how things will line up and come together, you just want more.

I just want more. Stay close.

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On My Mind

Mornings & evenings pass.
Days roll on.
Each sunrise & sunset
Like the one before.
Except for the mornings
I wake with you,
First on my mind.
Those more common
Than the rest.

By Elaina M. Avalos
© 2021

As a kid, I wrote a lot of poetry without understanding much about it. I still don’t know much, to be honest. As an English major, I cut my teeth on poetry – starting from the beginning of recorded literature. Any English major that doesn’t know the pain of Beowulf (reading, analysis, and paper-writing to follow), is no English major at all. :) I can’t tell you how many times I had to read The Canterbury Tales. I’ve taken entire classes on poetry. There are poems that stir my heart and inspire me. I adore children’s poetry books. But one thing I’ve learned over the years is that I’m not talented enough as a writer, to attempt anything but free verse. And even still, I stumble around with words and phrases. I compose these words on my heart. But write I must – even when I stumble and fumble.

The words are all I have to give – though I long to give more.

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Wild Things

wild things, elaina avalos, elaina m. avalos, a thousand years

It is untamed. Wild and unplanned. I wake deep in thought, recalling the mornings in the Redwoods – the air cold and damp. There was nothing around but the untouched forest. Standing there, facing the west, I saw the Pacific resting between the hills – the brush wild and untamed. So perfectly beautiful and lonely.

This is what it’s like to love you. On a day I least expected you, there you were. We are perfect partners. We think alike. But not. In that place in between, where we differ, you shine most.

There are more questions than answers. In the beauty of this wild thing, I long for you. What is and will not be follows me around like a coastal fog. Through the haze I see you. I don’t hold it against you – you can’t tame wild things.

I live here in this tension, with what will not be, settling into the cold, wild – alone.

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I Want to Age Like Sea Glass

I want to age like sea glass. Smoothed by tides, not broken. I want the currents of life to toss me around, shake me up and leave me feeling washed clean. I want my hard edges to soften as the years pass — made not weak, but supple. I want to ride the waves, go with the flow, feel the impact of the surging tides rolling in and out.

When I am thrown against the shore and caught between the rocks and a hard place, I want to rest there until I can find the strength to do what is next. Not stuck — just waiting, pondering, feeling what it feels like to pause. And when I am ready, I will catch a wave and let it carry me along to the next place that I am supposed to be.

I want to be picked up on occasion by an unsuspected soul and carried along — just for the connection, just for the sake of appreciation and wonder. And with each encounter, new possibilities of collaboration are presented, and new ideas are born.

I want to age like sea glass so that when people see the old woman I’ll become, they’ll embrace all that I am. They’ll marvel at my exquisite nature, hold me gently in their hands and be awed by my well-earned patina. Neither flashy nor dull, just the right luster. And they’ll wonder, if just for a second, what it is exactly I am made of and how I got to be in this very here and now. And we’ll both feel lucky to realize, once again, that we have landed in that perfectly right place at that profoundly right time.

I want to age like sea glass. I want to enjoy the journey and let my preciousness be, not in spite of the impacts of life, but because of them.

By Bernadette Noll