It’s summer in the south. I know. Not news, right? Growing up in Southern California, you’d think a hot, humid, and rainy summer would not be one of my favorite things. But it so is. The summers of my childhood … Continue reading
In June, in honor of the one year anniversary of my book being published, it was on sale. This month, I’m doing a little giveaway. Hop on over to my Facebook page for details & to enter!
One year ago today, my novel was published. It was a long time coming. I started writing this book so long ago. Like all of us, as we grow and change over the years, it changed too.
But it was always about family, adoption, and love. To celebrate the anniversary of finally chasing my dreams . . . the book will be on sale, starting June 12th!
What dreams have you been chasing lately, friend?
Tell the story.
Tell your story.
For far too long I’ve known it was time to tell my story.
There’s a story to share, because by God’s grace, I am not where I was. There’s a story to tell because He has redeemed and restored me.
I need to share my story. But beyond that, I’m called to do so. I’ve resisted for one reason or another. But most of the reasons ultimately come back to living my life for the betterment of an organization, versus my larger purpose on this earth.
In recent months, the why I’m here on this earth has crystallized and yet even still, I’m working my way through the details. But I do know that I need to tell my story.
Years ago I heard Anne Marie Miller (aka Anne Jackson) speak at a church. She talked about how there may be times in our lives where we’re called to give the gift of going first.
What does that mean? It means that we might need to tell our own story so others know there is hope, healing, freedom, etc. We may need to go first so they feel free to seek help, healing, and take a chance on hope.
I knew before that evening in Corona, California, that I needed to go first. Listening to Anne confirmed it.
And then life happened. I made choice after choice after choice that put me at odds with that calling. I put everything in front of my faith and the calling on my life.
The organization that deposits a paycheck in my checking account every two weeks, won. What I was being called to do by the God that chases me down, did not.
But in recent times, I’ve grown more and more certain that God is asking me to leave this old way of life, behind.
I’ve become more certain that telling my story is what He’s asking of me.
And yet, I’ve still held back.
After some of the hardest weeks and months of my life in 2016-2017, in which I lived in fear, some of the worst anxiety I’ve ever experienced, and my heart was broken (so very badly), I knew something had to change. And I knew I had to tell my story.
But I’ve still held back, ya’ll. I have such a hard head. Tell me I’m not the only one…
Fast forward to tonight. Our worship team at church somehow picked the exact songs I needed tonight. The words, as I sang them, were prayers, commitments, and reminders of the God that chases me down and is owed all of my life – every part of it – to include my story.
I didn’t notice our worship pastor’s shirt until the service was almost over and we were singing the last song (Do It Again).
It has been a favorite worship song for a while. But as the song started, I saw George’s shirt. White letters on black, “Tell the story” it said.
I smiled big.
You may think it’s a coincidence. You may not think it’s a sign. You may deny that there’s a message there for me or anyone else. But I know, like I know today is Saturday, that God could (and did) use a black t-shirt to slap me upside the face.
Do you know how many times this week I’ve begun this post? Not about a song or t-shirt but about “telling the story?” I’ve started this countless times but stopped myself every time.
So no. It’s not a coincidence.
Tell the story.
In my heart of hearts, I think we all know what our calling in life is. I think you know, yours. I know mine. I may not always know what that looks like or how the pieces will come together, but I know, that I know, that I know.
My friends – I’ve got some writing to do. Non-fiction…a devotional, a book about how the trauma of my childhood has impacted my entire life (but isn’t the end of the story because of God’s grace). I may have some other stuff to write, too.
Tell the story.
I’m going to tell the story.
A year ago today, I posted this photo on Instagram & Facebook. I had finally finished editing my novel, Chasing Hope. This novel, set in beautiful Beaufort, NC, had taken me far too long to write. Over the years, as I grew and changed, the novel did too. In many ways I’m thankful for that.
However, there is one primary way I would change things if I could. It is this . . .
I would not have let anything stop me from writing every day (or starting the foster care/adoption process sooner). I take on too much. I put things off in the name of my job. It was always, “Later. I’ll get to it later,” with me. I am sensitive – sometimes too sensitive. The way people treat me deeply impacts me. I take those burdens home.
Or, I am burdened by other’s hurt, trials, etc. On one hand, this is not a bad thing. I don’t want to change who I am. However, I didn’t do such a great job separating out my own life from my career or the organization that employed me.
When you’re weighed down by the extras, it tends to hold you back from what it is you actually want to be doing. At least that’s true of me. I’m sure there are many others out there like me, however. Especially those of you that are sensitive, artists, or just generally don’t believe in yourself.
Even after publishing Chasing Hope (read an excerpt by clicking the link) last summer, I have done what I did for so many years – I put off writing the second book and stopped working on promotion of the first one.
There is an extra person in my house that impacts when I can write. But that’s really not the biggest impediment to me holding fast to and pursuing my dreams.
It’s the way I let my day job impact my personal life. Here’s the thing. I love what I do. I love the people that I have been working with since 2010. I truly do. I wouldn’t trade these 8 years.
What was so badly needed, was for me to learn sooner, how to leave work at work. The truth is, after all this time, the Marine Corps has made major changes to the program I love. And though I won’t lose my job (this time), in an instant, they’ll part ways with me, without a second thought.
A wise man, who knows this organization so well, once told me that it will do what is best for itself. No matter what. So . . . I probably should just go ahead and do what’s best for me and be who God has called me to be, right? Why silence, hide, or put other things first?
I do not regret for one second the two units I have invested so much of my heart in. Not even for a second. What I do regret is that I forgot to do that at home. That was my choice. No one else’s.
In the last two weeks, I’ve come to face some hard truths about myself and the organization I love. I’ve come to realize how patient God is with me as I put off the me He created me to be.
Waking up this morning to that post was a reminder of what I want so badly for my life. In the book “Draw the Circle,” Mark Batterson talks about “circling” people, situations, dreams, etc., in prayer. Essentially that just means pray without giving up. I have a 3×5 card of the main things I want to circle in prayer.
On that card is my dream to write full time. Now that I have a little guy living in my house, this has grown in importance. Every time I pick him up from childcare and I’m reminded of what I wanted to be true of my life, I know that I need to throw everything I have at being home full time with him and whomever else joins our little family.
This is the dream. It may not be your dream, but it has always been mine.
For those of you sitting on your dreams, don’t do it any longer. Maybe that dream is your side hustle right now. Maybe you can’t begin to imagine how you’ll make it all come together. I understand.
You know what they say? Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Here’s the thing, I can pray until I’m blue in the face. But if I’m not out there doing my part, how exactly do I think doors are going to open for me and my family? If I’m not hustling, how exactly do I expect this dream to happen?
So, my friends . . . hold fast to your dreams. If you’re a pray-er, pray.
But get to work.
I’ll get to work with you.
What dream of yours has been languishing, as you put other things first? Care to share? Maybe it’s time to share and speak that dream out loud?
Brushing a girl’s hair
behind her ear
once a day
will solve more problems
than all those
I’m writing a love story. I thought I was stuck. Last weekend, I thought I’d never get past this mess of my own heart. The pieces still broken – fearing hope.
But the story lay hidden beneath the fear – the fear living closer to the surface.
Something changed yesterday though. I’m writing the story. I found the words. I found what I needed through a quiet challenge from God in the middle of my CPR/First Aid class – have faith. Someday maybe I’ll explain that in detail.
But for now, the love story I most want to write, is being written.
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. – Maya Angelou
This love I have wanted to write about? It’s the kind of love that is rooted in friendship. It’s the kind of love that gives you a vision of your future in someone else’s eyes. It’s the kind of love that ignites your belief in another’s gifts and talents far beyond what they even see for themselves.
It’s the kind of love that is passion and fire but comfort and normal. It’s the kind of love that brings a sense of calm in the midst of trial, when he brushes your hair behind your ear – his tenderness toward you is all you need. Or maybe how with one look, he knows what you need before you even speak. And above all else, it’s the kind of love shared by two broken people that didn’t fit anywhere else.
It’s the kind of love you do the hard way.
So I guess we’ll have to do it the hard way. – Keith Urban
I’m responding in faith in a lot of areas right now, my writing is no different. This is the story I most want to write.
He’s going in a book.
Life is short. There is no better time to say what needs to be said. There is no better time to chase after those dreams.
I’ve stayed quiet when I wanted to speak. I’ve not written words that needed to be written. And I’ve put off what is most on my heart.
Why? Fear of what others would think is a good place to start, though there are other reasons, too. This is no way to live.
I’ve been half-regretting the post I wrote last week. But I think my calling is to write truth whether it’s about my life or not. I also think it’s important to go first – giving others the gift of going second.
There are people out there, struggling. They don’t know where to turn or what to do. And they feel alone in their struggle. No one should. So . . . part of my calling is to be open in that struggle because I have a Hope in me that can’t be denied, no matter what happens around me.
For me, since my faith defines my life, the safest place I can be is when I’m living out my calling – in spite of what others might think of me.
Is it time for you to do a little saying, writing, or doing? Go for it, my friend!
Say it. Write it. Do it.
If I can be outside, I’m going to be outside. Thankfully, the weather has turned just slightly here in the south. It’s still humid. But our days have cooled just enough that being outside isn’t torture anymore. That is always good for my soul. Now to get back to work on book two of Macon & Ava’s story…