Honor Your Own Needs

heather plett, trauma, caring for yourself, self care, tiny buddha, elaina avalos, elaina m. avalos

Can anyone else relate? I sure can. This quote by Heather Plett & shared by TinyBuddha.com really struck me this evening. The art of caring for one’s self is a challenge for people like me – for many reasons. But among them, as I mentioned in a round about way here, being a people-pleaser can cause you to push yourself too far to make or keep everyone happy. And because you can’t actually achieve that, you keep pushing yourself to reach unattainable end. But what’s behind it? In this post, I wrote, “When I should watch and guard my time and well-being, I place others above myself to my detriment. Why? Good question. Why do you do it? Answering that question for ourselves is healing.”

This image above, with Heather Plett’s quote, perfectly answers why I have done it. It’s the trauma that taught me that I am only safe, accepted, loved, etc., when I behaved and spoke exactly as everyone else wanted. So naturally, being consumed by pleasing everyone around me was the result. I did so to my detriment for years on end. If you find yourself in this pattern, I hope this quote will be helpful to you. It was and is, to me.

Just Around the Bend

robert frost, the best way out is always through, elaina avalos, elaina m. avalos

When I woke up from a nap yesterday evening, the world looked a little different. I’ve been closer and closer to that moment for a while now. I woke up this morning and that sense had settled in even deeper – though I’d had a weird {weird-bad, not weird-entertaining} dream that could have been unsettling. In the place of some of the hard stuff that I’ve walked through the last couple of years, is a quiet peace.

Perseverance is something that many of us probably feel we’re well acquainted with. I have often been told that I’m strong. But being told that got old a long time ago. I don’t particularly care for being strong. I have a similar relationship with the word perseverance. Obviously, you don’t learn to persevere or persevere well, unless you face your fair share of challenging circumstances.

Life isn’t ever going to be free of challenges, conflict, or pain. It ebbs and flows, right? So while I can’t really call this an end, it certainly feels like rounding a corner to see the most beautiful sunrise or sunset you’ve ever seen. I live near-ish to the coast. We have high rise bridges that take you over the Intracoastal Waterway. As you reach the top, the Atlantic Ocean comes in sight. It doesn’t matter how many times I see it, my heart always catches in my throat. That’s a little of how I feel right now.

Here’s the truth about God, healing, hope, and working your way through hard things or difficult circumstances – sometimes it’s the littlest things you need to admit, confess, forgive, fully feel, or maybe even say out loud – that help you round that corner. If I can encourage anyone who comes across this, to keep pressing forward, I wanted to share. Life is weird and wonderful and I know when stuff is a mess, it’s hard to imagine it being any other way.

The thing is, your moment of clarity, peace, forgiveness, or healing – is just around the bend. Keep moving forward.