“When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.”
On May 27th, 2022 – life changed forever when my “baby” brother passed away. It’s hard to wrap my brain around this loss, even now. I miss him in a way that has changed me.
I made this for his memorial. In ten months I’ve planned two memorials, made two funeral programs, and made decisions I don’t ever want to make again. As I drive back to NC this weekend, I know Matthew will be on my heart constantly as he is and has been, the last couple of weeks.
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”
I opened Pinterest the other day and the image below was the first thing I saw in my feed.
It’s this. It looks like this. At the end of my life, when there are less years ahead than those that have past, I want to be with my best friend enjoying the simple things in life – with a family full of love and craziness. It’s not too much to ask or hope for. Nor is it a silly dream to pray for or long for.
Sometimes it appears as if society values other things more than love, family, and a simple (but happy) existence. In America, we (not me) value material things, positions, titles, and things more than anything it seems. I don’t have a desire to attain positions or titles or status. Things won’t follow me into the next life. But I do have a desire to come to the end of my life with a faithful love and family beside and all around me. This is all that matters to me.
Te traje tacos? Music to my ears. Listen, if I could sum up what is going on and has gone on in recent months, I wouldn’t be able to do so in a way that makes sense to anyone. It would probably sound . . . like fiction. Which, I also write so there you go. But there’s been a lot on my plate for awhile. Now is no different.
After all the craziness that has happened, I’m moving 300 miles away. I have no idea where I will live. I’m not packed yet (since I was in California for 8 days). Needless to say, the stress feels a little high at the moment. When I think most about what I need right now, I’m not gonna lie, I need a little, “drive safe, text me when you get home, I can’t wait to see you.” Most important of all would be, “te traje tacos.”
I’m a simple girl. It’s not that hard to make me deliriously happy. 😂 This would do it. Haha. Especially right now.
My writing has been shoved to the side – so this may be the last post for awhile, unless I sail through everything by the end of this weekend. Wish me good moving juju? And maybe a dude like this? 🤣