This was my podcast listen this morning, while getting ready for work. I think forgiveness is one of the hardest things to reconcile when someone has hurt us or those we love. In recent times, I’ve confronted this need to forgive in scenarios in which I know I will never get an apology or resolution. … Continue reading Forgiveness
The missing you is strong today. It started yesterday, to be honest. I came home from the rheumatologist and felt this stupid longing to see your face. I was out of sorts - tired and frustrated. I just didn't want to feel that anymore. I was out of sorts for loving you. I was out … Continue reading The Missing You is Strong Today
My 45th birthday is ten-days away. Last weekend, I worked on booking a birthday trip and never went through with it. I couldn't make up my mind and eventually the weirdness of this last year took over and I couldn't get past this one issue. It's a big one. Nonetheless, I just couldn't get past … Continue reading Road Trips, Birthdays, & Wasting Time
There are things I would like to do with you. I couldn't list them all here. I shouldn't list them all here. But here are fourteen, from the random places in my heart & mind - while I wait {every so impatiently}. Hurry up.1. I would like to kiss you. As much as possible. As … Continue reading Things I Would Like to do With You
“The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea.” ~ Isak Dinesen I am not ashamed that therapy is a thing I’ve needed since March of last year. It’s self-care. I think more people should go. But sometimes therapy comes in the form of Vitamin D, salt air, & sea breezes. So … Continue reading The Cure for Anything
As I lay here writing this at 3:53 AM, having yet to sleep, I thought I’d share this podcast. Although apparently I didn’t pay attention as well as I thought. Anxiety is and has been near for much of the last year. But settled in - during the days my home was damaged and I … Continue reading Anxiety
This is an excerpt of my novel, A Thousand Years. The day everything made sense again, the sweat dripped down my shirt, pooling between my breasts and running down my back. I longed for a swift and harsh southern thunderstorm to rip through town, cooling everything in its wake – including me. But I'm not … Continue reading Everything Made Sense Again
Here's what I'm listening to this week. In many ways, this has been a hard week. But it's also a good week. It was one I needed to make more changes and push me further in the right direction. There's a whole wide world out there, friends. And there's a lot left for me to … Continue reading What I’m Listening To . . .
The cat is out of the bag. I don't need to hide it anymore. My employer knows that later this summer, I will begin moving on to the next phase of my life. While I actually wanted to do it sooner, I let some things get in the way and then it seemed to be … Continue reading Dreaming About What Comes Next
Searching for safetyIt escaped me for so long.I found you -You aren't safe.But you were my safetyIn a storm I didn't know I'd walk into.In another storm, I longto be yours.
This morning, I’m overwhelmed with God’s mercy & grace. Friend - His mercy and grace are waiting for you. He’s waiting for you & He will lavish unmerited, crazy, wild grace on you."I thought I deservedTo be six feet beneath the earthFor all the things I've done and the things I've saidThe choices made that … Continue reading Happy Easter
You can’t tame wild things. Who wants to be tamed, anyway? Certainly not me. When I was in high school, I camped with friends, amongst the sequoias and redwoods. They towered over our primitive campsite. I woke up on the first full morning there and looked out toward the Pacific. If you stood just right, … Continue reading Come Live This Wild Life With Me
I have a dog. Her name is Abby. But I call her by many other names. See - I have this problem. It involves nicknames. I usually end up with about a bazaillion nicknames for kids and animals. Abby has a boatload. She is Booty Boo, Boo-Boo Bear, Boo-Boo, Abigail Ann, Abster, Busy Body, Ab, … Continue reading Abby the Wonder Dog
The day I met you, your skepticism was a challenge. I knew instantly that I had work to do, to win you over. I adore the skeptic in you. Even when it drives me crazy.For all the days that have passed since, I have fought back Against the feeling that I'm home, when I'm in … Continue reading Home
“If we want to fully enjoy all the good things in life, we need to notice them.” - Dr. Laurie Santos. Here’s a great podcast from Dr. Santos on the distractions (so many distractions) in our lives that keep us from noticing and enjoying the world around us. Here’s the description of this episode. “The … Continue reading Distractions. So many distractions.
How should I celebrate turning 45 in April? Go sky diving (I’ve never been)? Get a tattoo (still don’t have one)? Do something else exciting? What should I do to celebrate and mark this next big birthday? I usually attend a wine & food festival every April - in the lovely seaside town of Beaufort … Continue reading Sky Diving? A Tattoo?
https://youtu.be/mC-zw0zCCtg This song, Jireh - Elevation Worship, was featured, for the first time, during worship at Elevation this morning. It's my new song. I needed it. "Jireh - You are enough..."If you're new to faith related stuff, "Jireh" is a Hebrew name for God meaning "Provider." He is often referred to as "Jehovah Jireh."
https://youtu.be/rZ6wbQFbC2s I had a strong faith for a long time. A very long time. I was raised in the church and my faith was an incredibly important part of my life. But I've had my moments of not really feeling it. Frankly, that's been true for the last couple of years, in particular. Recent years … Continue reading Opening my Hands
https://youtu.be/2IF5TfnmV0k "I don't care if we fall from graceI'll follow you down to where forever liesWithout a doubt I'm on your sideThere is no where else I'd rather beI'm not about to compromiseGive you up to say goodbyeI've got you through the deepI'll keep you close to me"
I wrote this short story last night/today. When I started writing it, I knew what I wanted to write about. I just didn't know I was going to write about Lacey James. Who's Lacey James, you ask? She is the character in a novel, that I started writing several years ago. It's a big story. … Continue reading What a Family Looks Like
There’s a thing that sometimes happens when you’re standing in the forest - your feet firmly planted on the leaves and pine needles that fall to the ground. Silence. There are times when I’m on a trail that I don’t even hear a bird make a peep. If the breeze or wind is non-existent there’s … Continue reading Silence
She did not need much, wanted very little. A kind word, sincerity, fresh air, clean water, a garden, kisses, books to read, sheltering arms, a cozy bed, and to love and be loved in return. ~ starra neely blade
At one time in my life, I thought I defined self-care fairly well. I thought I knew what I needed to ensure I was taking care of myself - first. Recently, my therapist (yes, I go to therapy and yes I'm proud to say this) asked me what I did for self-care. I couldn't answer … Continue reading What Self-Care Is Not
One a blustery afternoon in mid-December, I turned around in the middle of a busy NorCal Trader Joe’s – intending to reach for the olive oil that was behind me. It was the first day in months I’d had a true break. Our busy season stretched from March through early December. And I was reveling … Continue reading It May Stretch or Tangle
"Lean on me, and I'll lean on youAnd together, we'll get through" https://youtu.be/ZVfPu42wDvs
I highly recommend this podcast "Unwinding Anxiety. Breaking the Habit of Worry and Fear," if you’re a person that is dealing with anxiety, panic attacks, or fear/worry. It's super interesting and helpful. If the link doesn’t work, try this: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/untangle/id1073460738?i=1000513281784.
There was a moment recently when I contemplated the type of relationship I want in my life, with the right one, and along with that, the type of relationship I deserve. The moment came about as I prepared myself for a little heartbreak. I'm sure some of you out there know what I mean. As … Continue reading Burn It All Down
One of my great loves in life is music. Have I mentioned this? This may not be new music - but it's speaking to my soul this week. Sweetest Thing by Allman Brown https://youtu.be/V40Mq1XBHUo We'll Make it Through by Ray LaMontagne (he has one of my favorite voices ever). He's incredible. https://youtu.be/ZVfPu42wDvs Build Me Up … Continue reading Favorite Tunes This Week
In April 2026, I will turn 50. This year feels like a big birthday, as I turn 45. But gosh, there's a lot I've still got to do before hitting 45 and six weeks won't do it. So, after a friend posted about her 40 before 40 (that she's now added a few more items … Continue reading 50 by 50
I stood at the water's edge this morning, the cold water shocking my system. The waves hit my feet again and again, as I slowly sunk into the frigid sand. The sun warmed the rest of me. The therapy of salt air, sunshine, and the constancy of the ocean are what I needed today - … Continue reading With or Without You
Sometimes being strong is not what it's cracked up to be. I am a strong woman. I happen to think I'm brave. I've been through a lot in my 45 years and I'm proud of my strength, determination, and perseverance. I've lived on my own for far longer than I'd prefer. I've moved cross country … Continue reading Being Strong
I made a little writing nook for myself last weekend. I knew creating a space to write would help me focus a little more on doing just that. Confession though - I'm currently writing from the comfort of my big, cozy bed (but whatever). But my mini-office will be where I write most of the … Continue reading Creating a Space to Write
If you’re looking for a way to improve your mood - in spite of what is going on around you, this podcast may be helpful. You can find it here. The title is “How to Improve Your Mood, No Matter What Life Throws Your Way.” I thought it had some useful information. I wanted to … Continue reading Improve Your Mood
“And there ain't no talkin' to this manHe's been tryin' to tell me soIt took a while to understand the beauty of just letting goCause it would take an acrobat, I already tried all thatI'm gonna let him fly”~Patty Griffin I live each day as if I belong to him. But I come home to … Continue reading I’m Gonna Let Him Fly
I miss you today. I miss you often. Some days hit a little different though. Today it's the sound of your voice and how I feel when you look at me - in that way you do - that I'm missing. The way you look at me always knocks me a little off center. Mostly … Continue reading I Miss You Today
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfEESKVszGQ I haven't shared a lot about my faith on this site or anywhere, in a long time. Mostly because I didn't want to sound preachy when I'm not really some paragon of faith. I'm still figuring it out. But I watched this sermon earlier {While cleaning the kitchen by the way. I like this … Continue reading Get to the Good Part
https://www.pinterest.com/elainaavalos/ Between my temporary role opening an event venue, past events I've planned, recipes, decorating inspiration, novel inspiration, and about a million other things, I adore Pinterest. I use it all of the time and sometimes like a search engine - especially when searching for something related to events or novel writing. I used to … Continue reading Inspiration and Vision Boards
https://open.spotify.com/track/5ZUObJNpVt2l9GogUSfALc?si=6oKx3s1ZQD6BHMHtDPQblA It's Tuesday and I'm feeling all sorts of feelings today. I'm also diving into another freaking re-write of A Thousand Years. Sometimes I think it's torture to be a writer {can I get a witness?}. This would be the third reincarnation of this love story. Maybe the third times the charm. Here are some … Continue reading The Trouble With Wanting, Is I Want You
On Sunday, I shared a YouTube video from Dr. Tara Brach, on the RAIN meditation technique. But this morning, I saw that Dr. Laurie Santos had an interview with Dr. Brach on her podcast, The Happiness Lab. If I failed to explain well, please check out Episode 18 where Dr. Santos talks with Dr. Brach … Continue reading RAIN Meditation Technique
https://youtu.be/wm1t5FyK5Ek A quick note - if you are someone that is uncomfortable with meditation because your Christian worldview has led you to believe it's not okay - I get it. But, I would say that what I've come to over the years is that God does use many things around us to teach, heal, and … Continue reading Self-Care Sunday
Here's another excerpt from my novel, A Thousand Years. On Friday evening, after we'd stuffed ourselves with pizza and we’re comfy in our favorite spots in the family room, watching a movie, Gray came through the front door. Total chaos ensued, as he was a whole week early. I always love seeing him like this … Continue reading Fiction Friday: One Way or Another
For more from Mark Anthony, go here. I just want a little bit of attention in the form of words is all - to know I'm being thought of, to not compete with a phone, or someone else. I want to hear or read the words {I'd probably read them over & over} - that … Continue reading Use Your Words
And in the category of getting through, here's a little music getting me through. Just gotta get through it. There's no way around it. I've tried. Have you ever had something standing in the way of what you want? And as much as you try to finagle your way around, it's just not possible. You … Continue reading Getting Through
Here is Wild Things - an Excerpt from A Thousand Years. 2003 Dearest Graham, It is untamed. Wild and unplanned. I wake deep in thought, recalling the mornings in the Redwoods - the air cold and damp. There was nothing around but the untouched forest. Standing there, facing the west, I saw the Pacific resting … Continue reading Wild Things – An Excerpt from A Thousand Years
