Love & prayer. These are two words ever so close to my heart. There are two "men" who are always on my heart. I pray for them constantly throughout my day because it's all I've got. I'm praying for one I love because I know no other way to love him. I pray every day… Continue reading Draw the Circle
I have a lot on my mind. I'm not sure what to share so here are a few random thoughts about things: My foster son is African American. If you doubt racism exists, I can confirm for you that it does. Go ahead and stay in your safe little corner if you disagree. But, I'll… Continue reading Random
When I started thinking about this post earlier this evening, I had the "good days/bad days" thought in my head. But really, it's better to describe them as moments. This foster care journey so far has had some of the darkest moments and I know I have only seen a tiny tip of the iceberg.… Continue reading Good Days. Bad Days.
For the longest time, I tried to make excuses. I figured that there had to be more. Why? Because nothing made sense. I lived everyday with this confusion hanging over my head and the belief that somehow, somewhere this would all make sense. But I'm tired of making excuses and I'm tired of trying to… Continue reading All In
Where are you, Baby? Still somewhere choosing your words carefully, I presume? There's a hole here in this big house. It feels even bigger than normal. There are things I'd like to do with you. I'd like to cook an extravagant dinner with you, music playing, and candles burning. I'd like to argue debate pointless &… Continue reading Things I Would Like To Do . . .
Sleep. More sleep. To eat meals when I'm hungry. To see the way you look at me sometimes. But just...all the time. Your arms around me. Someone to tell me it's going to be alright. To know there's a reason and a rhyme for how I ended up here, heart so tired and broken.
One day you wake up and you're no longer young. I mean young, young. As a woman, you near a certain point where you begin to be more and more certain that you will not give birth to a child. Some women go through adulthood with that desire a distant thought or a "Eh. I… Continue reading Babies & White Picket Fences
Dear Future Husband, There's a prayer I'm praying right now. It's really the same thing over and over. I am praying for you. I'm praying we can somehow get past this wall that appears to be in front of us now. I pray nothing will stand in our way. I pray you'll find me, see… Continue reading Run & Never Tire