Wait for Someone Who Loves You Differently

JmStorm, wait for someone who loves you differently, elaina avalos

I write fiction. All of it – every last bit of it – is about relationships, families, and romantic love. That can be a little annoying sometimes, to be honest. I love, love. My desire is to be in the event industry (again) and much of that is wedding-focused. I absolutely adore helping people plan their most important moments in life. When I helped open an event venue, my tours and long conversations with our potential brides & their families, were a joy. Truly. Embarrassingly, I am a fine connoisseur of Hallmark Christmas & romance movies & rom coms. I’m a nerd.

It’s just who I am. I can’t change it. I don’t want to. But like I said . . . also, annoying. The thing is, I keep the creative juices flowing with the music I listen to, the things I read, the movies I watch, etc. As a single person who has no clue if love & marriage are in her future (I’m certain I’ll have kids), it’s weird. It’s just weird. But it has given me a gift nonetheless. The gift is a certainty of what I want, a determination to wait for what’s right – not what’s easy, and a belief that it’s worth waiting for. I’m willing to wait for someone who loves me differently.

Wait for someone who
loves you differently.

JmStorm


I can live my life alone. What I can’t do is live my life with someone who is only marginally interested in investing fully in “us.” What I won’t do is chase a man – ain’t nobody got time for that. You’re in – or you’re out. If you can’t take a tiny risk by pursuing and opening the door, we’re not compatible. There’s a lot of passion in this 5’3 person. And while I would absolutely love to meet a man who balances that out with some calm steadiness, I also would hate life if he didn’t feel deeply enough, that he doesn’t know what he wants, thinks, or feels. I need a man in my life who knows what he wants and goes after it. That’s true in all things – to include how he pursues “us.”

I’ve climbed out on a limb, for a man, too many times. It’s just not something I can do anymore. If a man can’t be bothered to match effort to effort or make the first move, it’s just not gonna work. I’m so convinced of this, I’m willing to be alone. It’s not what I’d prefer, but it is what I know to be true. And it’s something I’d wait for. I know with total certainty that this can come across like I’m the princess that expects everything to be about her. That’s not at all what I’m saying. What I am saying is that it’s worth it. I’m worth it. We all are. I’ve watched friends marry because they don’t want to be alone. But then they are miserable because they chose what was easy – not what they truly wanted or deserved (that goes for males & females).

If you’re like me and you know what you want – don’t be afraid to wait for it or go after it. The wait may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Twist in the Wind

I woke up today
Your name on my lips. Your
Eyes I miss.
Thinking of the last time
I saw you. I lived on those
Minutes far longer than
I care to admit.
I don’t hold it against you
I once replied.
I don’t hold anything
Against you then or now.
Except the silence
Hurts. I struggle to let go.
This is a gift.
I am proud of.
This determination makes me
Unable to give up
When it counts. But I twist
In the wind now.

But Not Without My Muse

“Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die
I don’t belong, and my beloved, neither do you
Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry
I’m setting off, but not without my muse

I want auroras and sad prose
I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet
‘Cause I haven’t moved in years
And I want you right here
A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground
With no one around to tweet it
While I bathe in cliffside pools
With my calamitous love and insurmountable grief”
– Songwriters: Jack Antonoff / Taylor Alison Swift

The writing muse is finicky. My current lifestyle makes him/her/it hide a little more than I prefer. I’m ready for change. “I’m setting off, but not without my muse.”