It Always Comes Back

a thousand years, elaina avalos, wild things,

“I could love you or wait for you,
For a thousand years and never
Reach the end of the longing.”

I wrote that about you in December of 2020. I think I reach the end of the longing from time to time. Mostly when I get mad at you for disappearing and not looking back. But it always comes back – the longing, that is. It is weeks like this one, I am convinced I will always miss you.



The One

i want to be the one, mark anthony, mark anthony poet, dreams by mark anthony

I want to wake up with you,
and hear you ask,
“What are we going to do today?”

I want to be the one
you want to make plans with.

I want to be the one.
Mark Anthony (Buy his new book at the link)

October has been a terribly long month. The past 30 days felt like 100 days. I couldn’t wait for this month to end. Now that it has, I think I’m getting sick. Which is often the result of ridiculous amounts of stress piling up (for me). It has finally come to an end (well, Monday anyway). The final two months of the year are my favorite of the year. In addition to the two months of the year I love the most, November 1st kicks of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I’m also counting down to decorating for Christmas!

But it also means, now that I’ve gotten through the events of October, I can move full steam ahead, toward the goals and plans that have been set aside numerous times over the last couple of years. I’m excited. I’m also cautiously optimistic about what lies ahead. Why? Because I know my boundaries and challenges, to reach these dreams and goals, will be pushed and challenged.

But I know what I want. I know what I’m about, where I’m going, and yeah – I also know the type of man I’d like to be on this journey with. The one – has a few qualities that set him apart (that’s a different topic). But I think the most important thing is friendship – our friendship. That’s what sustains a relationship, in my opinion, when you reach the inevitable hard times and the waxing and waning of the romantic feelings emotions that go along with being and feeling in love.

So while I want the excitement, romance, passion, and fun that goes along with being in love (who doesn’t) – I also want the every day moments that come with choosing life with another – waking up to a normal day and living life alongside my best friend. So what does that have to do with the months ahead and accomplishing other dreams and plans? Nothing. Haha. Just the hope that as I live life – one that allows me to be the person I was called to be – he’ll join me.