Say it. Do it. I have never needed you more.
Collapse into me – right here.
I’ve got it. I’ve got you.
Yes, I will lay here with you.
Stay in bed with me this morning.
I’m not ready for you to leave.
Take me by the hand & lead me anywhere. I’ll follow you.
Take my wrist in your hand & kiss it before you pull me into your arms.
Tell me, tell me all the words I need to hear.
©Elaina M. Avalos
I was just wondering . . .
Were you jealous? Did the way he smiled at me make you wonder? Were you uncomfortable with how close I stood to him? Did your mind race? Did it matter that when I stopped talking to him, that the first thing I did was to search for you?
We move in perfect tandem. Have you noticed? Did you know it feels like home? I was just wondering.
When I walked away from him, did you explore my face and eyes for a sign that you’re the one? Does it matter that you are? I was just wondering. Did it matter that I explained? Did it matter that I didn’t want to explain – but did. I owe you nothing. Does that matter to you?
Have you asked yourself how we got here? Did you wonder why you were jealous? You were, weren’t you? Were you uncomfortable that I was with him and not you? I was just wondering.
Do you feel flattered? Will it matter? Will it matter to you that I go home alone? Does that matter to you? I was just wondering.
Each day turns – it’s the same thing over and over – I go on alone. I could solve this matter quickly and easily. I have the upper hand. But the ball will not be be in my court, until the moment you stand on my doorstep.
Do you know why? I was just wondering. Do you know how happy we will be? You feel it all of the time. I know you do. Do you know how happy our song will be? I was just wondering.
I’m reaching for you.
And living with the knowledge
that you’ll
never be mine.
© By Elaina M. Avalos
The sound
of your voice
brings me
indescribable
joy.
– Elaina M. Avalos
It’s been gloomy here on the coast of the Carolinas. I can endure cold, bad weather, and I don’t hate snow or ice. But when it’s dark and you can’t see the sun for days on end, I get a little cranky and uncomfortable. Today, after multiple days of fog, rain, and misty spitting rain (consistently ruining my new haircut) – the sun finally visited. Tonight, it will be 22 and breezy. Tomorrow it will be around 43 & windy – chilly for the coast, for sure. But the sun will be shining and that’s all I care about at this point.
I grew up in Southern California where I’ve jokingly said all of my adult life that we don’t have “weather.” I mean, they don’t really. It’s sunny most of the time and rain is infrequent (except for lately). I love that I now get to live in a place with real weather. But none of this is really the point of my post.
Stay close to people who feel like sunshine.
Have you heard the quote – stay close to people who feel like sunshine? I was thinking about it today as the sun finally made its appearance through the clouds. The joy that fills my heart when I’m around people like this is . . . unmatched. I just want more and more of it. I can’t get enough of it. I can’t get enough of them. This is what it’s like when you find your match – in friendship or in love. They’re like a ray of sunshine that warms you from the inside out – even when it’s cold outside. Even when life is hard and weird and nothing makes sense and you can’t imagine how things will line up and come together, you just want more.
I just want more. Stay close.
Writing in the Margins 