What if you give me one minute?

“Watch this be the wrong thing
Classic
God, I’m jumping in the deep end
It’s more fun to swim in
Heard the risk is drownin’, but I’m gonna take it
I’m gonna take it”
Songwriters: Audrey Hobert & Gracie Abrams

What if you give me one minute? And then all the rest of them?

If I told you how much I think about you, would you believe me? If I told you I need to feel my hand in yours, for just a minute – just give me one minute, would you give it to me?

Never mind.

One minute wouldn’t be enough.

Don’t give me one minute – unless I can have as many as possible.

I’d just ask for more and more of you. I’d ask for your quiet moments, your joys, your storms, and everything in between. I’d ask for the mundane, the chores, the highest highs and the passion. I’d return the favor. I’m at my absolute worst right now. If you stay, even then, I’d never stop reaching for you. I’ve seen you petulant. I’m still reaching for you.

If I handled you like I wanted to, we’d be caught in love and in bedsheets, and every moment of the weirdness and beauty of life. What if life was fair and I always got what I wanted? I’d have you. You’d be here – next to me. We’d be recovering from the day, together – as the night settles in around us. Would I ever grow complacent with feeling the rise and fall of your chest, if you were next to me? My guess is no. I’m certain I’d never forget how it feels to turn around and catch you watching me. I’d fight to keep us there, even when reality sets in, and it’s easier to choose separate corners and bruised egos.

You are laced through the lines of my poems – in the inspiration that stirs. When you read my words, you see us as clearly as I do, don’t you? What if I handled you like I wanted to? What if we moved in tandem everywhere? What if you give me one minute? And then all the rest of them?

Caught in a Current

Photo by Vidi Drone on Unsplash

I can’t explain the pull – the way I’m drawn to you. I have tried to steer around this without success. There was a moment, feels like ages ago now, when you looked at me with so much feeling, fear instantly struck my heart. I was instantly caught in a current – pulled very quickly from the shore. I am not doing this again, I thought. I put my foot down. I succeeded for a time. But I’ve been back to square one for too long now. I don’t have the energy. The current is pulling me under.

This is an exercise in futility. I’m caught in a current that will only lead me to the worst possible outcome.

I am still swimming against the current.

Collapse Into Me

Say it. Do it. I have never needed you more.
Collapse into me – right here.
I’ve got it. I’ve got you.
Yes, I will lay here with you.
Stay in bed with me this morning.
I’m not ready for you to leave.
Take me by the hand & lead me anywhere. I’ll follow you.
Take my wrist in your hand & kiss it before you pull me into your arms.
Tell me, tell me all the words I need to hear.
©Elaina M. Avalos

Just Wondering

I was just wondering . . .

Were you jealous? Did the way he smiled at me make you wonder? Were you uncomfortable with how close I stood to him? Did your mind race? Did it matter that when I stopped talking to him, that the first thing I did was to search for you?

We move in perfect tandem. Have you noticed? Did you know it feels like home? I was just wondering.

When I walked away from him, did you explore my face and eyes for a sign that you’re the one? Does it matter that you are? I was just wondering. Did it matter that I explained? Did it matter that I didn’t want to explain – but did. I owe you nothing. Does that matter to you?

Have you asked yourself how we got here? Did you wonder why you were jealous? You were, weren’t you? Were you uncomfortable that I was with him and not you? I was just wondering.

Do you feel flattered? Will it matter? Will it matter to you that I go home alone? Does that matter to you? I was just wondering.

Each day turns – it’s the same thing over and over – I go on alone. I could solve this matter quickly and easily. I have the upper hand. But the ball will not be be in my court, until the moment you stand on my doorstep.

Do you know why? I was just wondering. Do you know how happy we will be? You feel it all of the time. I know you do. Do you know how happy our song will be? I was just wondering.