You Know What Not To Say

say what you need to say, mitch albom, elaina avalos

Love,

We don’t need to parse words.

It doesn’t depend on what the meaning of is, is. I’ll say what needs to be said when you pick & choose your words carefully.

I have had enough of picking words carefully to last a lifetime. You know what not to say.

I’ll say what should be said:

Sometimes, when you argue a point with me, I want to end the argument by kissing you. Because at times, your annoying insistence on being right is also infuriatingly adorable. I know you think you’re rarely wrong. We could argue this point. But I rather enjoy listening to you talk so I’ll just let you say what you have to say. While you’re talking, just be aware that I’m sometimes thinking things like, “I need to kiss him now.” And, “I want to wake up to that face every day for the rest of my days.” And also, “He’s hot.”

Here are some things that we’re just not going to argue about, okay? Let’s agree now that I’m right:

– We will find a way to never go to bed angry. Somehow. Some way. Life is too short. Life changes in an instant. I don’t want our last thought before falling asleep to be one of conflict or anger when God never guarantees us a tomorrow.

– We will never be critical of each other in front of other people. My respect for you will always win, even when I’m madder than hell. I will defend you. I will support you. I may disagree with you. But no one will ever doubt my love and respect for you and your decisions. Please do the same for me.

– When we get married, let’s not get crazy, okay? Let’s stand under a canopy of redwoods with twinkling white lights or barefoot on the beach – focused not on all the stuff that comes with a wedding, but on our vows and the life we are creating.

“For my wedding, I don’t want violins
Or sentimental songs about thick and thin
I want a moment of silence and a moment of prayer
For the love we’ll need to make it in the world out there

To want what I have
To take what I’m given with grace
For this I pray
On my wedding day
On my wedding day”
– Don Henley

– We should have a big family. I’m right about this, Baby. When we’re in our 70’s and the kids all come home for Thanksgiving with their wives and husbands and their kids, it will be amazing. So just trust me on this one.

– We can’t always win the argument. But I promise you that my love for you will always keep me fighting for us when neither of us feel like backing down. Let’s always fight for us.

Dear Future Husband

blue crayon poem, a.r. asher, elaina avalos, love poem

Dear Future Husband,

I have this weird tendency to spill water or coffee down the front of me when I’m drinking. It’s usually at the worst possible time – like when I’m in a meeting, a formal event, or when I’m trying to appear cool. My Grandpa would have said I had a hole in my chin. He knew because he had one too. It’s usually just water. Unless I’m drinking red wine & wearing a white shirt.

I will often do ridiculous and klutzy things. It’s a gift. I outgrew some of the klutz. But not all of it. It comes out when I’m tired or highly distracted – like when a hot guy {you] is around.

I once went to a reception on Capitol Hill after the Trafficking in Persons Act {2000}, was passed. I was out of place and completely fascinated. I went by myself after being invited by International Justice Mission {I would later work for IJM for a bit}. I do many things by myself because . . . why not? Like go on a wine cruise {with a bunch of annoying couples} down the Trent River. Who does that? Me, apparently.I’d rather do them with you, though.

Speaking of things I’d rather do with you, I have a huge long list. I do things by myself because life is too short not to try things you want to try. But wouldn’t it be nice to hop in the car {together} on Friday after work and drive to Asheville because . . . why not?

You should also know that:

  • I snore
  • I get really impatient in traffic. If you could drive us around, especially on the 1st & 15th & when we need to be on Western Blvd, that’d be great.
  • I make up ridiculous nicknames for animals and kids {my dog probably has 10}. I’m sure I will have more than one for you.
  • I am very cheap. We will never buy expensive toilet paper, for instance. This is not a compromise I’m willing to make. Angel Soft is as expensive as I’ll go. Haha. Unless you want to get a second job or we win the lottery. But even then it’s iffy.
  • I am a tremendous fan of kissing.
  • I will never leave you. Unless Don Henley proposed to me. Then possibly. {I KID.}
  • I love jewelry but fail in most other girly things like make-up & doing my hair. If I could just look like me without dark eye circles I’d be cool with that. I hope you don’t need a super high maintenance chick who wears high heels, and does her hair & make-up before she goes anywhere. I will fail you miserably.
  • I sometimes jump up & down and yell during football games. I often pace around the room at the end of a game. I apologize in advance.

For a few years I’ve written “Dear Future Husband” status updates on Facebook. I find myself humorous. I say things like, “Dear Future Husband, When I’m sick, please make me a hot toddy.”

So I say a lot of silly things but here are a few other things you should know about life with me:

  • I have been praying for you, about you, and for our someday family for more years than I can count.
  • I will respect you – probably more than any person I’ve even known. No one will ever wonder or question my support for you and how much I believe in you.
  • I will be your biggest cheerleader and fiercest defender.
  • I really need you around. I can do anything I want to do. And I have done so much on my own. But gosh, I just need you around.
  • Your ability to make me {and others} laugh, will probably be one of my favorite things about you.
  • Your love for kids makes me love you more.
  • I will ask for your opinion because I want to hear it {also see bullet #2}. I will want & need your advice because I respect you and also, I like you.
  • I will call you out when you’re being a turd. I hope you will do the same for me because the likelihood of me being a turd at various points in our life together is high.
  • I will know you like I know myself. When you’re low, I will pull you up. When you’re high, I will rejoice in your wins, brag about you, and look at you with the same stars in my eyes I have now.

There’s plenty more where that comes from, but that’s what my heart needed to write tonight. Why? Because I miss you & wish you were here next to me. I’m not gonna lie, I’m tired of waiting. So let’s get on with the show, Baby.