I’m not sure I can do @rainbowsalt (aka Bianca Sparacino), justice with this post. But I’m loving her writing more and more. I read this on her IG account, this morning and had to share. “Love can be soft…” For those of us who’ve seen a painful side of love – whether it’s due to rough experiences growing up or adult relationships that have been painful, this could be a revelation. I mean, relationships are hard. I’m not talking about the work it takes to remain committed to another. I’m talking about the unhealthy, painful love many of us stick with because something seems familiar about it. Why does something painful feel familiar? If we have trauma in our past, as much as we don’t want more pain and trauma, it can feel sadly normal. Or, we talk ourselves into sticking with it because don’t want another failed relationship nor do we want to be alone.
But, we don’t have to live with what may have felt normal at one time. We can find this kind of love. It is entirely possible. “Let go of those who will only ever love you in halves, who will never ben able to give you what you deeply desire. Please, just learn how to lay your arms down, how to stop fighting for those who are not fighting for you – because love is not meant to be pain. Love is not meant to hurt. Love is good, and you deserve good love. Release anything that does not honor that.”
I could not have said it better. There’s a peace that comes when you can recognize this about yourself – your tendency to stick with what’s familiar, even when it hurts. If you’re still on that journey, hang in there. Half the battle is recognizing this about your past relationships. That sets the foundation for being able to find this kind of love in its wake. But in the meantime, we owe it to ourselves, and our future Love – to work on us so we are the best partner we can possibly be.