I am excited to say that after a long stretch of searching for, applying, and interviewing for various positions, I have finally accepted a job offer and will be moving to Virginia in May. I am super pumped to move back to an area I love and for the opportunity to serve in this new capacity.
But the next month (my last day at my current job is just under a month away) will be wildly busy. I’m headed to California this weekend and by the time I head back here, I’ll have to finish my turnover, find a house (a state away) on the weekends, and pack up my house for a move. Phew. It’s a lot. I’m a little verklempt.
I’m keeping my eye on the prize though. I cannot wait to be back in a place that I have loved so much (I lived there before – about 1.5 years in total). I will try not to overindulge on posts about our Nation’s Capital being close, how much I love the Virginia countryside, or the sheer number of amazing restaurants at my fingertips (haha). I will also try to control myself the first time I go to Eastern Market on a weekend again. 🙂 I am truly honored to have the opportunity I’ve been given, professionally. But it’s also a personal gift and one I’m excited to be embarking on.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.
The probability is high that I’ll be moving out of the Carolinas in the near future. As the chances increase that I’ll be preparing for a move, it’s easy for me, a person who likes change, to feel the excitement that comes with a new place and new opportunities. Especially when it’s somewhere I’ve loved living in the past.
But there’s also the easily accessible fear and doubt that comes from change. We are weird creatures – even if we love change (which I do). I love adventures. I am good with doing the unexpected (see last post), or the things society least expects. I like to do and try new things. I ain’t scurred. 🙂 But when life knocks you around in ways you least expect, it’s easy to forget your once bold spirit, (that usually isn’t afraid to walk into rooms supposedly not meant for you).
If you’re anything like me and nearing change, but find yourself tempted to ruminate on all the hard parts that come with it, let me challenge you to think about all of the ways that it can or will work out. Put your focus on the positives and the way change can stretch and grow you and and positively impact your life and future.
If you believe it will work out , you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t you will see obstacles.
Even when specific opportunities change in front of your eyes and things don’t work out quite like you planned, change is not inherently bad. Seasons change and bring with them beautiful and gifts. Even if things don’t work out, this time is a reminder of the opportunity that comes with change. The opportunity, however, lies in our openness and focus on what will or can work out, and the good lies ahead. If we’re focused on what we fear, what might not work out, or what we could lose – we certainly will face a negative future.
My #oneword365 for 2023 is fearless. I’m 100% certain there was a reason I knew that was my word for the year. What’s your “word” for 2023? Do you find it popping up in your life so far in 2023? I can’t wait to see what the coming months hold for me and my friends reading.
Today has been a little rough. I’ve felt it all afternoon – this lingering sadness. I’d been tracking this day for a while. But in my distraction over facing a new week (when I don’t want to), it slipped from the forefront of my mind. But it all came back a little bit ago & now I know why today has been rough. Today marks six months since my baby brother passed away.
His death has been tough to process on so many levels. The thing I keep going back to besides missing him – is how very precious our time is. I make constant excuses. “I’ll start on my plan once I get through holiday events. I’ll make a decision after __. I’ll just stay a little bit longer – it makes the most logical sense.” 🤬👎🏼🤮
But time marches on. I know my brother felt time breathing down his neck, too. He was getting older and faced the need to get healthier. He was pursuing that when he passed away. But he had some things that he hadn’t been able to do yet. I know it weighed on him.
Six months since losing my brother. And time passes on without moves in the direction I want to go in. If there’s anything good that can come from grief and losing your only sibling, I hope it’s that I finally get off my @$& and create the life I know I’m meant to live.
I need to be chasing dreams, not counting down days until my next break from work.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
About a week and a half ago, someone tried to break into my home. It’s not the only time in the last few weeks that someone has been lurking about. If there’s one thing that can really knock me off kilter, it’s not feeling safe. Being and feeling safe is important to me. It is for all of us. But I’ve survived some traumatic situations over my life, so it’s essential for me in ways that may feel less tangible to others. Or maybe a better way to say it is that for others, it’s a sub-conscious need or desire.
I don’t really intend to dive too deep into that. But what I can tell you for sure is that I haven’t been the same since all of this started. I am trying. One thing that has become clear the last couple of weeks is that this experience has caused me to question a few decisions I made recently. My brother’s death, four months ago today, was the first recent experience that caused me to weigh and consider my decisions and what I should be doing. I feel pretty certain I know what that future life looks like – but I slowed down the process of trying to get there, a few weeks back. Throw in someone trying to break into my home, and it’s re-surfaced my hopes and dreams and thoughts about changes I want to make in my life.
Fear is a powerful force. Sometimes you can make decisions based in fear that are ultimately not good for you and can hold you back from what you truly want (or what’s meant for you). The last couple of weeks are a little on the ironic side as I made decisions a few weeks back, based on the perceived safety of those decisions. Only to now feel the most unsafe I’ve felt in quite some time. Not sure what the lesson is there, although I have a hunch.
Mostly, I am determined to not live in fear – whatever that means. Fear can keep us mired in quicksand. Fear lies. Fear is the opposite of faith. And it is entirely incompatible with what I want and hope for, for my future. If you’re feeling the pressure of fear over faith, I just wanted to say that you are not alone. That feeling can be pretty isolating. So here I am to tell you this evening, you aren’t alone.
It’s so hard to pick up and press forward when fear has a stranglehold. But everything we want is on the other side of it.
“I hope you can find peace while breathing deep without knowing what comes next.” – Morgan Harper Nichols
What I know for certain is that life is uncertain. Making decisions about the future is tough sometimes. As I apply for jobs in California and various other locations around the country, the unknowns are mounting. What I don’t know, far outweighs what I do know. The challenge in moments like these is to keep my eyes fixed on God. My goal throughout this journey is being at peace with whatever comes my way.
I’m always up for an adventure. It has been awhile since I’ve had one, however. I think I’m due for one. So while I don’t know where the path is leading, I’m at peace.