I’m willing to wait for someone who loves me differently.
You keep me safe. I’ll keep you wild.
*Photo by Moi – taken of the Neuse River in coastal NC.*
Gents – Don’t be a coward. If you want to know what it means to awaken a woman’s love, without the intention of loving her – because you don’t quite get it, let me help you. I’m not even kidding. Send me a message. You can even do it anonymously through my contact form. Don’t do this to a woman.
- Give her your time & attention. When you’re with her, be all there. Don’t pay more attention to your phone, a football or video game (or whatever), than her. This fits nearly all women’s desire to feel listened to and heard. But it becomes even more important for those of us who may have not been a priority, were cheated on at some point, or had trust broken in some other way. This is a hard one for me. And I know I’m not alone. It’s the worst feeling.
- “Buy her chairs.” If you don’t know what that means, you need to watch one of my favorite movies of all time – Phenomenon. What is that one thing she “throws herself into?” How can you find a way to invest yourself – in some form or fashion – into something she’s passionate about?
Besides “Lacey’s chairs” which George bought so many of, he had an entire room of them stacked to the ceiling, there’s also a sweet secondary storyline where Forest Whitaker’s character falls for his housekeeper and learns Portuguese to talk to her. It’s very tender and sweet.
3. Send her random texts to let you know you’re thinking of her.
4. Bring up the things she’s told you about – things she likes, things you’ve discussed, etc. Demonstrate that you’re listening and paying attention. When you repeat the little things she’s shared, that show you really pay attention, it makes a lasting impact not only on her self-esteem, but in her confidence in you and helps her feel cared for.
5. Compliment her.
What else would you add to this quick list?
A few years ago, I had my heart broken pretty badly. My foster son was a pretty good distraction because he moved in shortly thereafter. But that heartbreak made me really leery about relationships & made me even question my ability to trust someone again. I didn’t doubt my ability to love – because I’m a lover. That’s who I am. I love deeply and passionately. I can’t help myself.
Three years later, I’m at a place where I can I say want that relationship now. But one thing I can’t and won’t do again is risk my whole heart for someone that doesn’t show up for me. I’ll always show up. I will always be all in. Somehow, until this very day, I’ve been willing to put up with men who won’t meet me halfway – or who aren’t all in – too.
I deserve that. And so do you. I won’t be in a situation again where I accept less than what I give – or a man who toys with my emotions because it makes him feel good, while my heart gets trampled in the process.
Mark Anthony, who wrote the poem above, sums up my feelings really well. I deserve the love I give. And I’m unwilling to accept anything else.