But Not Without My Muse

“Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die
I don’t belong, and my beloved, neither do you
Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry
I’m setting off, but not without my muse

I want auroras and sad prose
I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet
‘Cause I haven’t moved in years
And I want you right here
A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground
With no one around to tweet it
While I bathe in cliffside pools
With my calamitous love and insurmountable grief”
– Songwriters: Jack Antonoff / Taylor Alison Swift

The writing muse is finicky. My current lifestyle makes him/her/it hide a little more than I prefer. I’m ready for change. “I’m setting off, but not without my muse.”

The Trouble With Wanting, Is I Want You

It’s Tuesday and I’m feeling all sorts of feelings today. I’m also diving into another freaking re-write of A Thousand Years. Sometimes I think it’s torture to be a writer {can I get a witness?}. This would be the third reincarnation of this love story. Maybe the third times the charm.

Here are some random musings & three four of my favorite songs this week:

  1. Feeling resigned to my fate, today. I’m learning to be at peace with this. Maybe my new adventure needs to cook a little while longer? Perhaps it will come when it’s good and ready?
  2. I am enjoying a glass of cheap cabernet sauvignon {Winemakers Selection} tonight. I haven’t bought wine in a while because my old lady metabolism needed some drastic help to get working again {getting older as a woman, is just plain rude}. I’ve lost 10 pounds so I’m having a little treat. Also, for a cheap wine, it’s pretty good.
  3. Below are three of my newly discovered favorite songs for the week. Into the Mystic by Van Morrison is an honorable mention. I’d forgotten how much I love this song “I wanna rock your gypsy soul…” How do I get a hold of the man that will rock my gypsy soul? Also, why is Van Morrison so good? Oh! The second honorable mention goes to the stunning Joy Williams with The Trouble with Wanting. Oh shoot, maybe that’s my favorite this week? I just added it. “The trouble with wanting is I want you/And I want you all the time.”
  4. I love planning events. I’m currently in the process of planning two – with a small get-together happening this Friday {the first of three}. It gives me such joy. I’m an entertainer & hostess at heart. I don’t know why – but it truly brings me joy.
  5. I’m currently procrastinating starting the third re-write of A Thousand Years. Someone tell me to go write.
  6. Okay, I started working. But I’m easily distracted. I think I might as well formally set up my “office.” Perhaps that will help me stay on target? I’m currently lounging on the couch like a bum. Not the most conducive for writing. Maybe that’s my project for this weekend?
  7. I promise this post has taken me quite some time to write. I am actually accomplishing something.
  8. I think that’s the end of the random, this evening…

Novel Progress

Recent weeks have been challenging on the writing front. But the novel inspiration has kicked back into high gear again, so I’m looking forward to spending time this weekend on getting through a huge portion of my remaining edits (for the second draft). I thought I’d share a notes on my novel progress.

1. I am continuing to post little vignettes and poems here on the blog that may (we’ll see) appear in the novel. I’m adding another page to my Fiction menu where they will all be located. Also, the photography I’m using can all be found on Pexels or Unsplash. This weekend, I’ll be tagging each photo with the photographer’s name and will add a category to catalog the photos. These are all royalty free and don’t require link backs. However, I feel like it’s necessary. I just wasn’t sure the best way to do it. My most recent was Your Eyes. The very first was Wild Things.

2. I have a Pinterest board that’s slowly taking shape, where I pin images that stir up inspiration. You can find it here. As a visual person, sometimes I just need a little more than what I conjure up in my head. I’ll be adding more to that soon, too! As a side note, I unexpectedly changed my protagonist’s ex-husband out for a new ex-husband (haha). And now I want to write a book about him (new ex-husband). “He” (or at least a little inspiration for his character) can be found in the first few photos of the board I just shared. He’s a chef. With a beard. And tattoos. He’s totally made up, but I wouldn’t hate meeting one of them. Haha.

3. I’ve previously shared the Spotify playlist for the novel. But I’ve been bouncing around a lot lately. If you’re on Spotify, I’d love to connect with you there. You can find my profile, here.

Random photo of a hot & bearded Dierks Bentley for no reason except I love dudes with beards (see below).

I just wanted to share a few quick notes. If you’re on Pinterest or Spotify, I’d love to connect with you.

My Heart is a Liar

tyler knott gregson, elaina avalos, twin souls, a thousand years

My heart is a liar. Sometimes. Sometimes she’s just a little confused. I run through every moment. I relive what has been said, what has been left unspoken, and the little things that mean more to me than they probably should. Someday, when I look back on this time in my life, I know it will be without you.

I woke today with a memory of us standing in a room – your eyes on me. The question you asked, the tone of your voice, the way you looked at me – and then your response – it all spun this comfortable little web of hopes around me. Spider webs are quite lovely when you take a good long look at them. They’re lacey art – spun & wound and when the dew and rain hit just right, they sparkle in the light. These shiny sparkling moments, especially in the early morning hours, eventually give way to reality once again.

As the day has worn on, the warm memory from this morning, is replaced – because my heart is a liar. I may be here because you opened the door, but I stayed because sometimes I don’t know what’s best for me. Where does waiting get me?

I will wake up five years from now – with you there & me here, wishing it was you with your arms around me.

Halfway There – a Novel in Progress!

NaNoWriMo, NaNoWriMo 2020, Elaina Avalos

Yesterday, I wrote 2,434 words bringing me to a total of 26,002 words. I’m halfway there! While I think the novel will be over 50,000 words – the goal for NaNoWriMo is 50,000.

I have to say – I will never again return to writing the old way. My first draft is a first draft through and through. As I go, I think of things I’d like to change and make notes for the 2nd or 3rd drafts. I’m getting the overall story “on paper” without touching what I’ve written, with the hope of going back in on the second draft adding more description and some of the writing that I most love to do – to make my characters and locations come alive.

When I wrote Chasing Hope it took me ages (and ages). I’m my own worst critic. I wrote, deleted, wrote some more. Deleted. Edited. Over and over the pattern went. It took me so long. And it’s still not the book I want it to be. I plan on re-writing it someday.

The other thing that slows me down is that I will find myself going down a research rabbit hole when there’s something I need to learn more about, a house I have in mind – as my protagonist’s house, etc. I have tried to reduce that significantly this time. A few evenings ago, I was halfway to my daily word count goal and spent a little time on research. Last night, after I’d reached my goal, I did a little more.

My plan is to spend more time on that for the second draft. Although not exactly research, another issue that needs updating in subsequent drafts is that my timeline is allll jacked up because I’m changing things as I go – as the story makes more sense and comes into greater focus. The main characters both have children. I want the kids to all be younger now that I’ve started working on it, for instance. So that’s one reason my timing is jacked. Part of what will need to be worked out is just that – when I truly want to start this story, how long I want my protagonist to be apart from her love interest, and therefore how old the kids are when the novel begins.

I’m excited to have gotten so far, so quickly. For me, this is a huge deal. I’m celebrating today with Carolina Panthers football, a mimosa, and yeah – writing.