Love Can Be Soft

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I’m not sure I can do @rainbowsalt (aka Bianca Sparacino), justice with this post. But I’m loving her writing more and more. I read this on her IG account, this morning and had to share. “Love can be soft…” For those of us who’ve seen a painful side of love – whether it’s due to rough experiences growing up or adult relationships that have been painful, this could be a revelation. I mean, relationships are hard. I’m not talking about the work it takes to remain committed to another. I’m talking about the unhealthy, painful love many of us stick with because something seems familiar about it. Why does something painful feel familiar? If we have trauma in our past, as much as we don’t want more pain and trauma, it can feel sadly normal. Or, we talk ourselves into sticking with it because don’t want another failed relationship nor do we want to be alone.

But, we don’t have to live with what may have felt normal at one time. We can find this kind of love. It is entirely possible. “Let go of those who will only ever love you in halves, who will never ben able to give you what you deeply desire. Please, just learn how to lay your arms down, how to stop fighting for those who are not fighting for you – because love is not meant to be pain. Love is not meant to hurt. Love is good, and you deserve good love. Release anything that does not honor that.”

I could not have said it better. There’s a peace that comes when you can recognize this about yourself – your tendency to stick with what’s familiar, even when it hurts. If you’re still on that journey, hang in there. Half the battle is recognizing this about your past relationships. That sets the foundation for being able to find this kind of love in its wake. But in the meantime, we owe it to ourselves, and our future Love – to work on us so we are the best partner we can possibly be.


There’s a thing we do sometimes – we settle for being loved in a halfhearted way. We know what we want and what we long for and yet, we still seem to find ourselves there. I have been there. Settling for crumbs, when a feast awaits, sounds like a pretty human thing to do. So don’t beat yourself up too much. But if you’re accepting less than what you know you deserve and less than what you want so very badly, it’s time to give up the crumbs.

Stop settling. I’m certainly going to.

Stay Close to Me

a love like sunshine, stay close to me, elaina avalos, stay close to me elaina avalos
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Stay close to me when life is easy and we feel breezy and light. Stay close when the storm clouds roll in and we are rocked off our foundation I don’t ever want to know what it’s like to pass through the best and the worst days, without you close to me. You are like sunshine to my soul. Stay close to me.


While I continue to work on my novel and prepare to finish another (called Sea Glass Hearts), I’ve decided to take my short stories (most of which aren’t posted here) and poems and put them together into a book of poetry/short fiction. At the moment, that book is feeling like it will be called A Love Like Sunshine. But as with all things related to my writing, it could change 101 times before I’m done. 🙂