This was my podcast listen this morning, while getting ready for work. I think forgiveness is one of the hardest things to reconcile when someone has hurt us or those we love. In recent times, I’ve confronted this need to forgive in scenarios in which I know I will never get an apology or resolution. This podcast tackles what forgiveness is all about – which is ultimately not a gift we give someone else – but ourselves. Hanging onto a grudge and living with bitterness and anger harms us more than the person we need to forgive. I needed this reminder. I wanted to share as it helped remind me how important forgiveness is for my own wellness and well-being. To listen, go here:

Here are the episode notes:

I hope it encourages you as it did me.

Things I Would Like to do With You

elaina avalos, elaina m avalos, things i would like to do with you

There are things I would like to do with you. I couldn’t list them all here. I shouldn’t list them all here. But here are fourteen, from the random places in my heart & mind – while I wait {every so impatiently}. Hurry up.

1. I would like to kiss you. As much as possible. As often as possible.
2. I would like to tell you my stories. Sometimes, when I’m talking too much & you want to laugh at me, and all of my words, I’d like you to remember how long I’ve waited for you. I have some catching up to do.
3. I would like to wake up beside you, in a cabin in the woods. Waking up beside you – anywhere else – will also suffice.
4. I would like argue with you.
5. I would like to make you laugh.
6. I would like to make you dinner. And laugh giddy with wine & the intimacy of things we only say to each other.
7. I would like to be your safe place to land – in the good times and bad.
8. I would like to keep you wild.
9. I would like you to know that I will always forgive you. Even when I don’t want to.
10. I would like to wander through a store or walk down the beach with your hand in mine or feel your hand on the small of my back.
11. I would like to discuss the finer points of meaningless nothings with you.
12. I would like you to make me coffee when I’ve been up too late writing & I dread the work day ahead.
13. I would like to spend as much time with you as possible and when we get to a point of annoying each other, find then that our moments to ourselves are just enough to remind us of how much we enjoy being around each other – even in the mundane.
14. I would like to discover new places, trails, road side dives, and hidden corners of the world, with you.


As I lay here writing this at 3:53 AM, having yet to sleep, I thought I’d share this podcast. Although apparently I didn’t pay attention as well as I thought. Anxiety is and has been near for much of the last year. But settled in – during the days my home was damaged and I feared for my safety, at the tail end of my foster care days. The thing about anxiety or worry is that neither is productive. They get you absolutely nowhere. I think most of us know this. And yet, logic doesn’t always win out, does it? One thing I know for sure – calling it out – identifying the anxiety – as a first step – is the foundation for finding my way through. What comes after, probably depends on what’s going on around me, but inevitably I have to take time to slow everything down, if I’m going to work my way through successfully. I feel like too often we keep pushing through at our normal crazy pace thinking we can somehow outrun it. There’s really no way out, except going through. Days like today are reminders to myself – slow it down – my breathing, my thought-life, and hopefully, my responses too. How do you manage anxiety or worry?