Use Your Words

mark anthony poet, mark anthony
For more from Mark Anthony, go here.

I just want a little bit of attention in the form of words is all – to know I’m being thought of, to not compete with a phone, or someone else. I want to hear or read the words {I’d probably read them over & over} – that I’m cared for and thought of {without prompting}. But even if there aren’t any ill intentions behind picking up your phone when you’re with the one you care about, we all take in or receive love in different ways. The Five Love Languages has been as popular for a long time, for that very reason. The concepts are powerful. But not terribly complicated. We all accept or feel loved in different ways. I mean, duh. Showing our loved ones love, in the way that they best understand it, is a gift to them and to us. So even if there’s no ill intention in there by picking up that phone, being cognizant of what your love needs to feel cared for, is so important. Maybe they’re a quality time person. If you spend most of your time with them, distracted and doing other things, they’re going to struggle to feel loved and cared for in the relationship.

My love language? It’s words of affirmation. It’s not surprising – considering the writer thing and all. I struggle to feel loved when I don’t have that. I try – but I inevitably feel hurt, not appreciated, or even unloved {or a combo of all three}. If your spouse or significant other’s, love language is physical touch, can you imagine how hard it would be to feel connected and loved, if you were distant or unaffectionate? I think physical touch is a close second for me, so that’s not a hard one for me to show. But what if my SO’s love language is receiving gifts. Honestly, I’m a sucky gift-giver because I can never make up my mind what to buy for someone. The receiving gifts thing could be anything from a small token to a larger gift – something that shows you’ve thought of them and just had to get it for them. But because it doesn’t come natural to me, I would need to find a way to learn, for my significant other’s sake.

So while your significant other’s love language may not come natural to you, it is, in my opinion, a beautiful thing to choose to learn that language. Making those deposits into your mate or significant other yields long term benefits for both of you.

Do you know your love language? Do you know your significant other’s?

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