Closing the Door

I closed the door on my previous house today. I moved last weekend but had some things left to take care of there.

I wish I could say I’m super organized and that I got everything done in the time I wanted to, but between work, being a single mom to a boy with some unique needs, and Rheumatoid Disease – I simply was overwhelmed from start to finish and had much left to do.

Today, as I finished packing a few last things in my car, I cried like a baby. This house – all 1 acre lot, 2 stories, 4 bedrooms, and 2.5 baths of it – became too much for me last year when my RD took a turn for the worst.

But there have always been things about this house I loved. I loved the kitchen (took the photo as I walked out). I loved the paint color of my bedroom & bathroom. I loved that the street was so quiet.

The best thing about that house though? It’s where I became a mom. For those of you that are sentimental and emotional like me – you can probably relate to saying goodbye to the first home you lived in when you became a mom.

My boy came walking through the front door nine months ago. He may not have my blood and I didn’t give birth to him, but I love him as though I did.

The night he arrived he was scared and nervous – until he saw all the toys and had a chance to meet Abby. He changed my life. I can’t imagine life without him in it.

The house became too much for me. But my heart grew there – by the size of one very smart, sweet, and incredibly resilient boy. I will forever be thankful that his first home with me was one he loved so much.

My boy truly loved his home with me, there. He loved his friends on the street. And he loved his school. Closing the door on that house – that house where I became a mom, was so much harder than I expected.

We’ve got a new home now, though. There is some sweetness with the new place already. My kiddo didn’t like playing in his room if I wasn’t upstairs, at the old house. He played happily here, for a couple hours this morning, because no matter where I was in this much smaller, cozier place, he was close enough to me.

He’s made fast friends on the cul de sac. I don’t feel overwhelmed at the thought of dealing with stairs or cleaning. And it was just time overall for the change.

I don’t know how long we’ll be here – whether it’s one-year or three. But, no matter what, I’m looking forward to making it a home and watching him grow and heal, here. I hope next year this is the home we drive to when we sign adoption papers and he’s mine for always.

Thankful for what was, but even more grateful to close one door and open a new one.

One thought on “Closing the Door

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