Dear Future Husband,
There’s a prayer I’m praying right now. It’s really the same thing over and over. I am praying for you. I’m praying we can somehow get past this wall that appears to be in front of us now.
I pray nothing will stand in our way.
I pray you’ll find me, see me, run and never tire. Desire is one of my favorite Ryan Adams songs. It has been for a handful of years. But somehow it’s a good one for right now.
Two hearts fading, like a flower.
And all this waiting, for the power.
For some answer, to this fire.
The water as higher.
I am 100% convinced that amazing things are ahead for us and for our patchwork family. But floating around the edges of those days when my faith is strong, are so many moments when the fear is greater.
This weekend, as I miss you and worry I’ll keep right on missing you, the fear and faith have mixed. Equal amounts of both. One minute I’m certain. The next, I’m dreading a life without you in it.
I’m working on a novel. It’s a love story. It’s our love story. The one that hasn’t happened yet. This too, like my prayers for you – and for us, takes more faith than I have some moments.
But the man I know you are (and are becoming) makes the risk worth every moment of fear in the midst of all this waiting.
I’m going to keep praying big prayers, Baby.
“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us…” Ephesians 3:20